3 little words that literally highjack the conversation. Do you
ever say them? Do you ever insert this phrase into your conversation?
‘Oh by the way’…..did you know that………… Oh by the way, you are
going to go into to town, would you mind picking up……..?
There are many variations upon this theme. Many ways this little phrase is introduced into a conversation-the result is always the same. The high jacking of the conversation and turning it to a new focus that is the "real" intent, the real priority of the speaker. Moving attention and awareness from the initial purpose of the conversation and refocusing it upon the speaker. With these three words, the conversation becomes all about the hidden agenda, the internal conversation of the speaker.
Yesterday I was celebrating the birthday of a friend and she was sharing her experience of "by the way" conversations.
On 3 separate occasions people called to wish her happy birthday and then added a "by the way": a guess what happened to me, a can you do me a favor, a did you know. Suddenly the moment of celebration is high jacked. Stolen by the speaker of these 3 little words.
With awareness, we can bring ourselves into full presence in our conversations. We can give with our awareness and our languaging for each topic its own time, its own space, its own drawer. We can gift to each person with whom we speak our undivided attention and our presence. We can silence that voice in our head that in the midst of the sharing of another is already planning what we are going to say. We can choose to let go of the role of the thief lying in wait- to high jack the conversation, to turn it to the meeting of our own needs, our own priorities.
We can choose instead to practice being fully present. We can choose instead to give our full attention to the conversation. We can choose instead to let go of our own internal list.
What do you choose? In your next conversation with these 3 little words will you high jack a conversation of reciprocity and exploration and make it a conversation that is "all about me" OR
Will you choose letting go of these three little words to support congruency within you: an alignment of words, values and actions.
Letting go of these three little words creates a new conversational energy. The conversation becomes one of sharing, of exploration, of a mutual desire to discover and witness the unfolding of what lies within, ourselves and the other.
See more at : http://www.beyourbrilliancenow.com/by-the-way/
There are many variations upon this theme. Many ways this little phrase is introduced into a conversation-the result is always the same. The high jacking of the conversation and turning it to a new focus that is the "real" intent, the real priority of the speaker. Moving attention and awareness from the initial purpose of the conversation and refocusing it upon the speaker. With these three words, the conversation becomes all about the hidden agenda, the internal conversation of the speaker.
Yesterday I was celebrating the birthday of a friend and she was sharing her experience of "by the way" conversations.
On 3 separate occasions people called to wish her happy birthday and then added a "by the way": a guess what happened to me, a can you do me a favor, a did you know. Suddenly the moment of celebration is high jacked. Stolen by the speaker of these 3 little words.
With awareness, we can bring ourselves into full presence in our conversations. We can give with our awareness and our languaging for each topic its own time, its own space, its own drawer. We can gift to each person with whom we speak our undivided attention and our presence. We can silence that voice in our head that in the midst of the sharing of another is already planning what we are going to say. We can choose to let go of the role of the thief lying in wait- to high jack the conversation, to turn it to the meeting of our own needs, our own priorities.
We can choose instead to practice being fully present. We can choose instead to give our full attention to the conversation. We can choose instead to let go of our own internal list.
What do you choose? In your next conversation with these 3 little words will you high jack a conversation of reciprocity and exploration and make it a conversation that is "all about me" OR
Will you choose letting go of these three little words to support congruency within you: an alignment of words, values and actions.
Letting go of these three little words creates a new conversational energy. The conversation becomes one of sharing, of exploration, of a mutual desire to discover and witness the unfolding of what lies within, ourselves and the other.
See more at : http://www.beyourbrilliancenow.com/by-the-way/
