DIVINELY SELFISH – Personal Care in the World of the Healing Practitioner

When you work with and support others, do you experience: Feeling drained? Do you desire them to “get better”? Do you take on one more client because there is no one else? Are you attached to them making progress?

When I first heard the expression Divinely Selfish- I experienced a lot of critical thoughts arising regarding its legitimacy in the world of healing and Practitioners of Healing Modalities.

As I traveled further in my own journey I realized that there was an important piece, a question I had not asked, I had not seen in my enthusiasm to serve, to help, to teach. In the process of caring for and supporting others, who is “at home” caring for me? I came to see that being Divinely Selfish is the foundation of giving value to myself. Being Divinely Selfish is not only actions such as getting my hair done, scheduling a manicure, or receiving a massage. Divinely Selfish is also about being willing to place my own well being first. To paraphrase one of my teachers- “If you do not care for yourself you will not be able to be present to care for others.”

Divinely Selfish is about recognizing the importance of putting into my life time for those activities that nurture, and restore ME. Taking a walk, reading a book, keeping myself safe, recognizing when I require support, asking for what I require to maintain my sense of safety, harmony, health and energy. Being able to give honest yes and no to requests for my time, my attention, my energy.

Divinely Selfish is about nurturing my own integrity and my own congruency to support an authentic life.

I can be kind, I can be humble. I can be all those qualities and still embody the state of being- Divinely Selfish. In the Transcendental Rebirthing System¹ all certified trainers study, apply and embrace the Sacred Principles of an Honest Yes/an Honest No, Non Entanglement, No Rescue and No Excuses. These Sacred Principles become the foundation of both our mission of service to others and the journey to embody and manifest the best that we can be. They offer a platform on which to create my choices to be “Divinely Selfish”

To practice living from the state of being Divinely Selfish is to truly practice self care. It is to let go of victimization and the martyr: It is to recognize when the eternal paradigm of victim/persecutor/rescuer is in play; It is to become fully responsible for my state; mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

 Transcendental Rebirthing System created and copyrighted by Ivonne Alexander

In that conscious choice, to be Divinely Selfish, I feel I am supporting myself to simultaneously hold a space of total clarity, no agenda and loving presence. When I am divinely selfish, I honor that I am present for myself and within myself and can hold the space of practitioner, witness, coach and support for my clients.

I am grateful for the tools of Conscious Breathing, Transcendental Rebirthing Principles and the transformative power of personal language which I use and am using even more with every day.

Do you desire to explore what it is to be Divinely Selfish? 3 Keys to Personal Freedom is my on-line course that integrates the tools of Conscious Breathing, Transcendental Rebirthing Principles and personal language development to create the opportunity to:

COME AND BE
DIVINELY SELFISH
Linda Heller
www.beyourbrilliancenow.com

A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER

Today- is Father’s Day. One of those holidays often referred to in my thoughts and by others as a “Hallmark” holiday. A holiday that has lost its original purpose in the commercial marketing of gifts and cards and a sense of social obligation to gather, to purchase a gift, to send a card.

My father passed from this life 27 years ago on Easter Sunday. Today, as on many other days, memories of who he was and is in my life returned to my awareness. I was moved to reread an article I wrote for the Transcendental Rebirthing System that along with others contributed by TR Trainers was included in a book by Ivonne Delaflor Alexander; The Divine Father. Below is that article which I choose to share with you in celebration and gratitude for the man-my father

“As I began to write of my father, I found the memories all mixed together. What I remembered and loved, and all mixed into those memories was the awareness of my child self longing for more: more of his time, more of his attention. Physically strong, athletic, confident, handsome with black wavy hair, blue eyes and a ready smile. He worked long hours 6.5 days per week, and as a small child I remember being so excited when he would come home, coming in the back door, taking off his oil stained clothing and putting on clean clothes and washing his hands and face. It was as if the sun would shine inside the house, bringing warmth and light when he came home.

For me, my father created a container of safety. I could and did ask my father most anything, and share with him many feelings. Two of my most favorite times growing up were dinners at the kitchen table where we would talk about everything, lingering long after the meal was done and the rare occasions where he would take me with him on Sundays, when he only worked 4 hours instead of 10. I would ride with him up to check on oil wells. I followed him into oil leases, climbed among tank farms, went into derricks and we would talk and laugh. For those special times, it was as if he opened a door and let me into his world away from home.

My father was a man with a ready smile, who conveyed a genuine liking of and interest in others. He seemed equally admired by men, women and children. In reviewing my experiences as his daughter, I pay tribute to how much he shaped my view of men, men’s relationships with women, and what a father’s role with children. My father was not authoritative in the sense of bossy, abusive or controlling. Rather he influenced by his presence, his story telling, his ability to laugh at himself, his “code” about being a man and his modeling of how to live and be. He became, in the mind and heart of my child self, someone who was larger than life itself. From the child perspective, he supported my mother 100%. No matter what went on between them, to me they were a team. Always working together, supporting each other and granting to each other respect, appreciation and tribute and creating consistency between them with me.

………I am in gratitude for this opportunity to give tribute: …….to my father for his laughter, enjoyment of life, finding his passion, responsibility for family, modeling and the sense of safety and protection that he gifted to me and to our home. I am in gratitude and appreciation for all of who he was.”

I invite all fathers this day to give even more of a most important gift- your conscious loving presence and time with your child- they are the moments that help form their lives and moments they will treasure.For more info:www.beyourbrilliancenow.com

THE BUCK STOPS HERE¹

                                                           THE BUCK STOPS HERE¹

                                                               YOU ARE THE ONE

Are you looking for a teacher, a guru, a savior? Do you desire to experience a soul mate, happiness in a relationship, a more exciting, fulfilling sexual relationship? Have you ever considered “The Buck Stops Here”, that You are The One? I invite you to consider that ultimately you are your own teacher, guru, savior, master and soul mate. The search for your soul mate, a fulfilling relationship sexual, emotional, spiritual all begins and ends – within yourself.

Have you considered that no matter how many workshops you attend, certificates you earn, competencies you acquire, their power to transform you, to raise your awareness to deepen your experience of life, all resides ultimately within you. Transformation, awareness and competence are not a virus that you acquire through exposure. They are states that arise and grow within you. They depend upon intention, focus and congruency of intent and action to manifest them, to become encoded within yourself and then applied in the world, in your relationships, in your life.

Teachers are the messengers, competencies earned are the tools which you then must apply to achieve change within yourself.

Recently, after a coaching session with one of my students in the 3 Keys to Personal Freedom Course, I was gifted to observe the student begin that journey of becoming her own teacher, of growing in her own awareness, of taking action to become even more competent, of moving from reaction to response. One of her teenage children returned from a task that she had volunteered to complete sharing with her mom that the desired material necessary for the task was not where the parent directed her. The mom took one step, to accompany the child, to show her yes in fact, the material was there and then stopped. She began to laugh, turned to me and said, “Did you observe the old pattern I began to follow? The pattern of being the rescuer, the pattern of being helpful, of being the “good mom” Instead, integrating the lesson she had been exploring of No Rescue, she changed her language, changed her actions and asked her daughter a question- “Where did you look” What else could you do?:

By asking questions, by becoming responsive instead of reactive, she demonstrated her own growing awareness of her unconscious patterns of language and action. Her actions indicated an integration of the information- she in fact changed her personal experience of her life and her children’s experience of her and their own capacity to be responsible and problem solve with one act- one moment of integrating the message, moving from reacting to the situation to using her growing awareness to respond to the familiar situation differently. Now the familiar becomes new. An action, taken with awareness created new possibilities; new opportunities and she became even more of what she desired.

As the “teacher” I was delighted, to witness my student, begin that journey: To become her own teacher, her own witness- To Become the One. Truly a moment of appreciation and gratitude for my student’s courage and passion to begin that journey to become the creator- of her new life

¹Phrase made famous by Harry Truman, 33rd President of the United States

See more at:   www.beyourbrilliancenow.com

WHERE GRIEF HIDES

In the space of one breath, I moved from a place of conscious breathing to a space of intense grief. Grief deep and profound… This particular experience of grief was a surprise. My dear friend had passed after an intense experience with a progressive disease, five months before. Her journey was long and it had given me time to accept her passing, to support her and learn even more about loss and grief.

What was surprising was to experience this profound grief welling up from its invisible hiding place. Moment to moment, month to month I hadn’t felt it. In the depths of sleep, the routines and adventures of the day I didn’t see it. So where was it hiding? Why was it so invisible, this intense energy of grief?

I was so certain that I had processed all that surrounded my friends experience; her lessons and mine. The opportunities to make amends, to celebrate our life journey, to be in gratitude for every aspect of living, even those aspects that seemed the most challenging. Instead I discovered that my grief had been hiding.

I had, without awareness, clothed my grief in a series of costumes. Costumes of working, filling my days with activities, supporting family to achieve closure of estate business, clearing the house of possessions: Being “strong, competent, available and helpful”. Finally there was nothing left to do- the house was sold, the possessions distributed, the temporary closeness with her siblings dissolved. Finally I was left with myself.

With awareness, we can bring ourselves into full presence in our conversations. We can give with our awareness and our languaging for each topic its own time, its own space, its own drawer. We can gift to each person with whom we speak our undivided attention and our presence. We can silence that voice in our head that in the midst of the sharing of another is already planning what we are going to say. We can choose to let go of the role of the thief lying in wait- to high jack the conversation, to turn it to the meeting of our own needs, our own priorities.

It was my participation in a series of Conscious Connected Breathing Workshops in South Africa, led by Dan Brulé, that created an experience of inner stillness, without thought. Conscious Connected Breathing that supported me, moved my attention and relaxed my body. I was able to let go. It was in the process of letting go of thought and physical tension, in the awareness focused upon the breath that the hiding place of grief was exposed. Pervasive, artfully camouflaged by over caring, over doing and last but not least, camouflaged by the sedation provided by the anesthesia of habit and entertainment. It was made visible through the most simple, natural and elegant of acts: Conscious Breathing.

I was surprised, not that grief was present. I was surprised that feelings that intense and deep could remain hidden, so long undetected. The breath then became an agent of change. The breath became the messenger of movement. Reawakening the flow of life within me, I felt myself literally waking up. A veritable Sleeping Beauty awakened from a dreamless sleep, energized and engaged. I could literally feel the grief, coming to the surface. Like a wave, washing over and through me and leaving behind a clean and open channel for life’s energy to flow through me even stronger, clearer and more powerfully than before.

                                                   Change your ordinary thoughts
                                                      Live an extraordinary life
                                                               Linda Heller
                                                    www.beyourbrilliancenow.com
                                                     3Keys to Personal Freedom

GRATITUDE AND INTEGRATION

GRATITUDE AND INTEGRATION  
2014 is flowing ever forward- open, unlimited in possibilities, unknowable in terms of new connections, new growth and new directions.

I began the journey into 2014 by reviewing the past year, all the many experiences rich, full, sometimes challenging and always filled with opportunities to love even more, experience even more gratitude, even more integration, even more awareness.

The journey of my beloved friend as I supported her on her on quest over 20 months to explore and embrace alternative forms of healing of Cancer. Being witness to the activation of old patterns, the arrival at that place of peace and love and the letting go of stories of what was not within herself and her family.

I shared the holiday with my dear friend’s son and his family in their new home. She had pass less than 2 months before and I appreciated this opportunity to reconnect with her son, his wife and children in a celebration of family.

It was an experience that nurtured and restored my own spirit in surprising ways. It was a celebration of living. In the midst of loss and grief, the river of life flows eternally on: Truly ” time stops for no man” or for no woman/child or friend or beloved. I experienced a deep sense of gratitude for this opportunity, for this celebration of the flow of life.

In South Africa, two of my friends also experienced the transition of family and friends. Yet engagements were still announced, clients were still seen, patients still supported. The river that life is, keeps flowing.

I thought of my experiences traveling to South Africa for the first time in the Spring of 2012 and participating in Breathwork Practitioner’s Training led by Dan Brulé. That initial yes, to a new experience, to a new place, meeting new people, literally stepping into the unknown was such a gift-

Over the last 20 months I have traveled to South Africa 3times. It was here in a healing center named Woodlands that I received a profound gift. The gift of integration. Each time I have been immersed in this space, I experience an integration of all that I have lived and experienced into a new form. It truly seems as if the space itself, created within me a rebirthing of myself and I become even more of who I truly am, even more loving, more creative and more connected. It was here that I integrated the 3 passions of my life: Breathwork, Transcendental Rebirthing and Conscious Personal Language.

It was here that I opened myself to new possibilities and discovered myself saying yes to the integration of my 3 passions into an online course offering – 3 KEYS TO PERSONAL FREEDOM.

I celebrate the year that was- for its embodiment of the power of the Transcendental Rebirthing Principle of INTEGRATION and the value of GRATITUDE.

MAY OUR EXPERIENC OF THE NEW YEAR BE FILLED WITH THE BRILLIANCE THAT WE ARE AND THE UNLIMITED POSSIBILTIES THAT LIFE OFFERS UP WHEN WE SAY YES

For more information http://www.beyourbrilliancenow.com

A CHOICE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

A CHOICE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
THE SACRED PAUSE¹

Have you ever been able to point to a single choice and say- this choice- changed my life?

I did! In August of 2007 I said yes to participating in a 1 Day Workshop with Ivonne Delaflor and experienced a method that she developed and named Transcendental Rebirthing. From this initial participation, I participated in many more workshops and in 2008 I enrolled in her 5 day training to become a Certified Transcendental Rebirthing Trainer. At the time I saw my choice as one of developing even more skills- for myself I made the choice to save myself, to heal myself. I had no vision when I made the choice, how deep the teachings would go, how embedded they would become in the person that I have grown to be.

As part of the training we were introduced to what in T.R. (Transcendental Rebirthing) we call the Sacred Principles. Initially they were information to learn, to think about, a code of conduct if you would. Since that Training in August of 2008, these Sacred Principles have become so much more. They are the foundation of our Training Community. They connect Trainers around the world with a core of values and principles which align us, connect us and unify us with a clear foundation. They are the principles that guide my life.

Today I desire to share with you one of those principles that we call the Sacred Pause.

During the TR we may utilize a process from Family Constellation Therapy² called representation. Those of us who are in a representation of a person, or a feeling, who are giving support to the Turn Person by our presence, our mindfulness and our awareness may experience a physical or an emotional response to the Client or Turn Being’s Journey. When that happens we raise our hand indicating that we have something to share. The Leader of the Transcendental Rebirthing experience, names our pause and when there is a place to “pause” we are asked to name our feeling or sensation.

The Sacred Pause is a way to share information that places the emotional and physical safety of the turn being first. The sensation or emotion that we name establishes a connection between the experiences of the turn being and the others sharing in the experience. This provides further information to the Leader, and supports the Turn Being in their journey. The Transcendental Rebirthing Experience is like returning to the Womb. To say yes to an TR experience, is to say yes to a process in which you experience, absolute support, absolute safety and rebirth yourself through intention and commitment; letting go of limiting beliefs and stories of who you think you are.

It sounds so easy, so simple: name a feeling or a sensation. My experience both in the Womb or Heart of TR experience¹ and the larger womb of each breath is that the Sacred Pause is built on mindfulness, listening, tracking, and naming.

To activate the Sacred Pause in the TR experience or in the experience we call life, requires that I drop all fear of not being right, self doubt about what I am feeling, or seeing, or listening and embracing Trust: Surrendering to the experience and naming that experience.

In the naming, I surrender that I know. I trust my experience, and I trust the Team Leader to listen and integrate the information with what they have received from Intelligent Space or as some may name it, the Field or the Mind of God.

Recently, I was able to live the Sacred Pause. I went to visit my daughter and because of a story, untold here, she returned home with me. As I watched my patterns, reflecting old choices and old feelings, I was reminded of the quote from Ram Das: “If you feel you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family” It was a humbling experience, but then, my daughter has always been one of my greatest teachers.

She is a catalyst, and in response I have made choices that have led me to places I never imagined I would go, like TR. In my first day back home, with my daughter as a guest, in her old room, I put on Holy Harmonies. As the vibration of the music filled the house, and I tracked and named to myself the patterns that I was seeing, I found myself living the Sacred Pause. I felt my inner rhythm begin to change. I felt myself letting go of the old patterns I had manifested during the past week. I discovered that place, that quiet pool, the place of love, surrender and trust where I desired to reside. As I changed, she changed. The dogs changed, and the vibration of all was manifested at a higher frequency.

Beyond the stories, beyond the words, there in the Sacred Pause, when I surrender, trust and listen, my awareness of my connection to each and every other spirit unfolds. The connection of each to everything is present.

Visit my website, explore 3 Keys to Personal Freedom- Learn even more about the Sacred Principles and how you can use them to make a choice and change your life.

Linda Heller
www.beyourbrilliancenow.com
Creator of 3 Keys to Personal Freedom

BY THE WAY

3 little words that literally highjack the conversation. Do you ever say them? Do you ever insert this phrase into your conversation? ‘Oh by the way’…..did you know that………… Oh by the way, you are going to go into to town, would you mind picking up……..?

There are many variations upon this theme. Many ways this little phrase is introduced into a conversation-the result is always the same. The high jacking of the conversation and turning it to a new focus that is the "real" intent, the real priority of the speaker. Moving attention and awareness from the initial purpose of the conversation and refocusing it upon the speaker. With these three words, the conversation becomes all about the hidden agenda, the internal conversation of the speaker.

Yesterday I was celebrating the birthday of a friend and she was sharing her experience of "by the way" conversations.

On 3 separate occasions people called to wish her happy birthday and then added a "by the way": a guess what happened to me, a can you do me a favor, a did you know. Suddenly the moment of celebration is high jacked. Stolen by the speaker of these 3 little words.

With awareness, we can bring ourselves into full presence in our conversations. We can give with our awareness and our languaging for each topic its own time, its own space, its own drawer. We can gift to each person with whom we speak our undivided attention and our presence. We can silence that voice in our head that in the midst of the sharing of another is already planning what we are going to say. We can choose to let go of the role of the thief lying in wait- to high jack the conversation, to turn it to the meeting of our own needs, our own priorities.

We can choose instead to practice being fully present. We can choose instead to give our full attention to the conversation. We can choose instead to let go of our own internal list.

What do you choose? In your next conversation with these 3 little words will you high jack a conversation of reciprocity and exploration and make it a conversation that is "all about me" OR

Will you choose letting go of these three little words to support congruency within you: an alignment of words, values and actions.

Letting go of these three little words creates a new conversational energy. The conversation becomes one of sharing, of exploration, of a mutual desire to discover and witness the unfolding of what lies within, ourselves and the other.

See more at : http://www.beyourbrilliancenow.com/by-the-way/