THE BEGINNING OF LOVE
IS
THE WILL
TO LET THOSE WE LOVE
BE PERFECTLY THEMSELVES,
THE WILL
TO LET THOSE WE LOVE
BE PERFECTLY THEMSELVES,
THE RESOLUTION
NOT TO TWIST THEM TO FIT
OUR OWN IMAGE.
NOT TO TWIST THEM TO FIT
OUR OWN IMAGE.
IF IN LOVING THEM
WE DO NOT LOVE WHAT THEY ARE,
BUT ONLY THEIR POTENTIAL LIKENESS TO OURSELVES,
WE DO NOT LOVE WHAT THEY ARE,
BUT ONLY THEIR POTENTIAL LIKENESS TO OURSELVES,
THE WE DO NOT
LOVE THEM:
WE LOVE ONLY THE REFLECTION
OF OURSELVES WE FIND IN THEM.
OF OURSELVES WE FIND IN THEM.
THOMAS MERTON- NO MAN IS AN ISLAND
Have you ever asked yourself What is love, what does it look like, how
does it feel?
Several years ago, my friend and
teacher said "I have never met a person I didn't love". At the time I
thought to myself, 'wow, I can't say
that!! I have met some- quite a few in
fact that I didn't love'. Through time
and even more life changing teachings and experiences I have come to realize
that for me I, in fact, had created 2
different experiences of love.
The first, the most common/ familiar one to me, is what I call 3D love. The love that experiences, loss, grief,
jealousy, envy and self comparison thoughts, such as I am not as....., qualifying thoughts such as "If you
loved me you would......", "if you knew me, truly knew me you
wouldn't love me", "I don't deserve... This form of love requires constant
affirmation, signs that you truly love me, or that you love me as much as I
love you. It also requires constant demonstration from me, that in fact I love
the other, let me show you how much: by my gifts, my thoughtfulness, by doing
and being whatever pleases the other.
The 2nd experience of love, came to
me late in life= when, during a particularly self induced time of unhappiness
where the manifestations of 3D love were not what I desired I asked myself a
question "What would love do?"
In resting within that question; letting the unhappiness rise and then
flow through me, the answer was so clear:
loving the other, truly for who they are - in the world, to their
families and friends, to me- was not dependent upon what they did for me. Truly it just was. It exists- independent of what the other does
or doesn't do. I experienced this
profound sense of expansiveness and lightness.
As if I was floating, immersed in a vast and limitless sea of
unqualified love.
Now when I I think of what my
friend/teacher said " I have never met a person I didn't love",
I have a different response, a different
awareness. This awareness changed my
life and my experiences with others. It
has led me to choose: to be even more discerning, to be even more un-entangled,
to have even more awareness of being in the present with no agenda for how
others should be. The more I reside
there with conscious awareness, the more true for me the statement
becomes:
No comments:
Post a Comment